Sad

I really wanted to watch slumdog with you. I really wanted to spend some time just you and me. I really wanted to go out and shop and have fun with you. I really shouldn't have expected so much. I know it isnt't fair for me to ask more from you also. But I just can't help but wish and expect more sometimes. If you ever read this, maybe you will finally know how i feel about you? I don't know. Maybe to you I am just some dumb guy who is willing to wait and maybe I mean only that to you?

How I wish I could record down this momment and play it back everytime i start expecting stuff. At least in that way i could stop it before it hurts like it does now. I hate to feel disappointed. That is why I escape it by not putting in effort in things in JC. But since the 1st sem in uni, I have put in 101% in everything I do and make sure I do not escape from disappointment anymore. The only way to do so is to expect and live up to the expectations that I have set for myself. But the situation with you is different. Even if i put in 1010% or even 200% it does not mean anything at all unless you like me. I am sad, disappointed not because of you but because theres simply nothing I can do and I probably meant as little to you as I have guessed.

Can't tell you how you feel. You are not telling me how you feel. We are just doing stuff and not thinking nor talking abt stuff. Is this what you want? Is this what I want? I am really tired. Really. You are one girl that really makes me very very confused all the time. Sometimes I really hope I can not like you so much. Sometimes I really try to talk to other gals but it does not work tat way i guess. Theres really no more room for anyone else. I know I will wait, but how much more painful times will I go through in the future? I only know I still like you enough to bear with this pain and wait.

Please make tomorrow a good day. I really had enough shit this week. Need to fucking hang on manz. Please take this fucking pain away.